The leaves are turning shades of umber, russet, bright reds, banana yellow outside of my window. I should be outdoors enjoying the precious last few days of sunshine and park play, but I have been wasting away inside in my own private shell of privacy. The poor children, they just want a place to run free like little wild animals frolicking in the grass. I feel like some sort of agoraphobic. Except I am definitely not. I don't want to feel this way, but it is hard not to feel as though I am in a type of limbo at the moment. I am supposed to be acting as though I am moving, getting my house in order, but there is no house yet to move into on the other side...God has told us repeatedly to act in faith, and we are attempting it. I don't even know how Noah built that ark! There were no drops of rain or storm clouds in sight for the 40 years he constructed that clunky, crazy boat in his backyard, and all the neighbors were judging him to be a nut-job. But he faithfully kept on.
I have it easy, so to speak. People just don't find works of faith to be a thing of substance. My family thinks we are crazy, our friends keep asking if we've found a place yet, etc. and God just has us waiting on Him and His bricks that He is laying one at a time. One step two step, three step....Trust Me. Four step, five step, six step, wait.
Today is all we have. I should be making the most of it. And I am sitting in a chair with searing back pain waiting for some good news. Who's the nut-job again?
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