unconditional

Love is a funny thing in our current generation.
When we become unhappy or begin to "fall out of love", we simply leave or separate from the arrangement. No matter how entangled our life has become with the other party. If it is no longer making us happy or bringing us fulfillment, we are brainwashed to believe that our happiness is the most important component to a perfect life, so we chase after that feeling of being in love , which is actually just an adrenaline rush of first crush desire...the problem being that that emotion was never meant to last indefinitely. It is a hook to the fish. The reward is keeping the fish even when it's sick or no longer pretty. When it's gasping for air and all you want to do is toss it back in the water to set it free. Sometimes it is the only way, I guess.
What does it mean to love unconditionally? Is it possible? Is it concurrent with today? should it be? Is it a dying ideal? Or is it the core of true love as we know it?
In every relationship I have ever found to be inspiring and beautiful, the resounding ingredient of success seems to be longevity mingled with empathy. Each person putting the other before themselves. Even before their own dreams and passions. It is a dying to oneself to see to it that the other person is successful in life. Is it impossible? Sometimes it seems that way lately. And then you see that old couple holding hands in their golden years, crossing the street, or sitting across from each other in a restaurant with that glint of love and respect still so clear in their eyes as they regard each other and converse, whether in talk or in glances, and you know, it is still possible.
My husband and I have been married for ten years now, and there have been times, I admit, that I have played with the idea of fleeing from a difficult conversation that was extremely awkward, or places that are such an impasse in seeing eye to eye that it could have ended right there if we chose to let it be the stopping point..out of pride or immaturity. But then as time proves, a few days or a month later, we are sitting in some ridiculously beautiful spot together, overlooking the magic of nature's eye candy or sharing a moment of clarity, and everything is more than okay, it seems fake it is so perfect. THAT is love. It IS the rollercoaster, and riding it out with someone that you see as worth it to be with in the good, the bad and the ugly, as well as the perfectly aligned moments of relational bliss. It is the NOT giving up because you honor the vows, but beyond that, loving someone for all of their perfect flaws that make them human and gorgeous.
I did not know this as fully last year, or the year before, but every year I am with my husband, I learn more. I become more educated in what real love looks like and feels like, and it is very painful sometimes. It is very sublime sometimes. It is awkward. It is two giraffes dancing and getting their necks tangled then bizarrely untangling and walking on. It is stilted conversations and crying in the night sometimes, and hurting deeper than you've ever been hurt but then healing each other and going on. Deeper and deeper. It is the cracks and the splintered heartaches that make it so obvious how intertwined your hearts are. Fact is, if it hurts so bad, it's because you have let it. You have allowed yourself to be that vulnerable because you have seen the worth in that person to open yourself up just that much. Maybe, just maybe...it is also worth it to walk out that path and to reconcile. To make it work with that person because you love them. I know it is for me. No shift of opinions or difference of views (unless of course it was unhealthy and a risk not worth taking for reasons of protection that is) is going to disentangle us as far as I am concerned. I hope your relationship is worth it to you to keep as well. Be good to yourself, and be good to your mate. All the best my friends.