Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Marriage
I just recently found out about a pastor that we used to have in California who has ended up in a horrible divorce with his wife of many years, and a messy custody battle over his children. It was strange, I was just sitting on my couch at a late hour (which around this house, is the only time I can hear God's voice because it's actually quiet) when I thought of him. I had not thought of this guy in many years, that his face came out of the blue. I couldn't even remember his name at first, just that he had been very kind and patient to me, counseled me when I was hooked on drugs and in the midst of all of my teenage angst. I remember sitting in his office across the desk from him, and going over scripture with him. I was a very confused girl at that point, and he would redirect my aimless rants to solid truth. Gently. I will not forget that.
We all have our struggles, and I have no doubt that both parties are to blame, but it just brings to mind the fact that marriages are crumbling left and right. If people within the church cannot retain a unified covenant, how can the world be expected to either? When we say our vows, one of the most important things spoken is this: What God has put together, let no man put asunder. In other words, no one, even yourself, should tear apart what God has put together. Of course, I am not dogmatic, and believe that sometimes, there are exceptions, and usually it is because God wasn't the one who put the two together, it was their own doing, and that is why it fell apart, because He had no part in in from the beginning. But a marriage that was two people, seeking God, and led to make that lifelong commitment, then just throwing in the towel, that is a tragedy indeed in my mind.
In this world we are living in where people lie daily to each other and cheat and seek their own happiness above anything else, it is nearly impossible to make anything last. This is why I am so filled with a quickening to place my desires and daydreams under the light of God's truth. Is it really necessary for me to have all the things I want or think I need all the time? Or will it be more beneficial and glorifying to battle out the things that are so vital. My marriage is the number one most important thing to me beside my relationship with Christ. My husband has faults, as do I, but I know that if I went searching for someone with less faults I would be wildly disillusioned, exchanging something highly valuable for a pipe-dream. With relationships, you are going to have messes. It is a basic fact of the matter. Our relationship with the Lord is one of the most perfect examples, and I even fall short daily in THAT one, so I should expect to find challenges and discrepancies in my everyday family relationships. Does this mean we give up and run away? No. I heard it said once, before I got married to Chris, that if you picture a married couple like 2 horses in a corral, who, when in an argument of some sort, each can run to the opposite sides of the corral but cannot leap over the fence, and must eventually come into the middle again to resolve their differences. It is a good mental picture for me, because I never really learned from anyone how to communicate through differences, if someone didn't see eye to eye with me, the conversation was over, we'd agree to disagree, but to try and work something out, some common ground, would be too much work and so I would run away. When I married Chris, however, I said to myself, I will not do this lightly. I will remain single if I want things to be simpler. In 1 Corinthians 7:34 it says,"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world- how she can please her husband." and I knew, I would not allow anything less than His perfect best to take my attention away from Him. When Chris came along, I was not looking for that from him at all, it just fell into place, and I knew with all of my being that he was the one worth fighting for. It saddens me that it has to be such a battle sometimes to hold something together that was meant for a blessing...we make petty things into so much more than they need to be, rather than "Covering over a multitude of sins in love" as 1Peter 4:8 & Proverbs 10:12 charges us to do. One of my favorite verses is also from Corinthians, and it says not to take account of offenses. I tend to do this, and it is one of the things I seek to free myself from. If Chris took account of my offenses rather than letting them go, I'd be a guilty woman in his sight.
I love this verse, it has been on my heart a lot lately,"How good and pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity! It is like precious (fragrant) oil poured on the head, running down the beard.." Psalm 133:1-2 The whole Psalm is worth reading, it is one of the shortest and most important Psalms, it is as if that was all that needed to be said in it. How important for us to be united!! "For there the Lord bestows His blessing, even life forevermore." Oil in scripture always represents the holy spirit, a sort of inner vulnerability, a holiness and beauty in my mind, like the woman who broke her expensive alabaster vial to spill out the perfume upon Jesus' feet, it needed to be broken to spill out it's worth, just like our hardened hearts need to be broken to emit the fragrance of love. Unity is one of the most powerful and glorious tools we have in relationships and in congregation, yet there is so precious little of it. Let us begin by keeping our marriages together and our hearts soft towards each other. Then perhaps the church will truly display the image of a Beloved wife and her Husband, Jesus, dwelling together in perfect unity, rather than quarreling over ridiculous and petty things such as whether to have the music before or after, with lights on or off in church, and silly things! Let us be inclined to put one another above ourselves and not live enslaved to selfishness and self-seeking. Marriage on earth is supposed to be the example for what the Church looks like, minds in one accord walking toward a common goal. Why do we make it so complicated?
We all have our struggles, and I have no doubt that both parties are to blame, but it just brings to mind the fact that marriages are crumbling left and right. If people within the church cannot retain a unified covenant, how can the world be expected to either? When we say our vows, one of the most important things spoken is this: What God has put together, let no man put asunder. In other words, no one, even yourself, should tear apart what God has put together. Of course, I am not dogmatic, and believe that sometimes, there are exceptions, and usually it is because God wasn't the one who put the two together, it was their own doing, and that is why it fell apart, because He had no part in in from the beginning. But a marriage that was two people, seeking God, and led to make that lifelong commitment, then just throwing in the towel, that is a tragedy indeed in my mind.
In this world we are living in where people lie daily to each other and cheat and seek their own happiness above anything else, it is nearly impossible to make anything last. This is why I am so filled with a quickening to place my desires and daydreams under the light of God's truth. Is it really necessary for me to have all the things I want or think I need all the time? Or will it be more beneficial and glorifying to battle out the things that are so vital. My marriage is the number one most important thing to me beside my relationship with Christ. My husband has faults, as do I, but I know that if I went searching for someone with less faults I would be wildly disillusioned, exchanging something highly valuable for a pipe-dream. With relationships, you are going to have messes. It is a basic fact of the matter. Our relationship with the Lord is one of the most perfect examples, and I even fall short daily in THAT one, so I should expect to find challenges and discrepancies in my everyday family relationships. Does this mean we give up and run away? No. I heard it said once, before I got married to Chris, that if you picture a married couple like 2 horses in a corral, who, when in an argument of some sort, each can run to the opposite sides of the corral but cannot leap over the fence, and must eventually come into the middle again to resolve their differences. It is a good mental picture for me, because I never really learned from anyone how to communicate through differences, if someone didn't see eye to eye with me, the conversation was over, we'd agree to disagree, but to try and work something out, some common ground, would be too much work and so I would run away. When I married Chris, however, I said to myself, I will not do this lightly. I will remain single if I want things to be simpler. In 1 Corinthians 7:34 it says,"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world- how she can please her husband." and I knew, I would not allow anything less than His perfect best to take my attention away from Him. When Chris came along, I was not looking for that from him at all, it just fell into place, and I knew with all of my being that he was the one worth fighting for. It saddens me that it has to be such a battle sometimes to hold something together that was meant for a blessing...we make petty things into so much more than they need to be, rather than "Covering over a multitude of sins in love" as 1Peter 4:8 & Proverbs 10:12 charges us to do. One of my favorite verses is also from Corinthians, and it says not to take account of offenses. I tend to do this, and it is one of the things I seek to free myself from. If Chris took account of my offenses rather than letting them go, I'd be a guilty woman in his sight.
I love this verse, it has been on my heart a lot lately,"How good and pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity! It is like precious (fragrant) oil poured on the head, running down the beard.." Psalm 133:1-2 The whole Psalm is worth reading, it is one of the shortest and most important Psalms, it is as if that was all that needed to be said in it. How important for us to be united!! "For there the Lord bestows His blessing, even life forevermore." Oil in scripture always represents the holy spirit, a sort of inner vulnerability, a holiness and beauty in my mind, like the woman who broke her expensive alabaster vial to spill out the perfume upon Jesus' feet, it needed to be broken to spill out it's worth, just like our hardened hearts need to be broken to emit the fragrance of love. Unity is one of the most powerful and glorious tools we have in relationships and in congregation, yet there is so precious little of it. Let us begin by keeping our marriages together and our hearts soft towards each other. Then perhaps the church will truly display the image of a Beloved wife and her Husband, Jesus, dwelling together in perfect unity, rather than quarreling over ridiculous and petty things such as whether to have the music before or after, with lights on or off in church, and silly things! Let us be inclined to put one another above ourselves and not live enslaved to selfishness and self-seeking. Marriage on earth is supposed to be the example for what the Church looks like, minds in one accord walking toward a common goal. Why do we make it so complicated?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
It's been awhile
It's been awhile since I posted a blog, so here goes. It's not necessarily that I have been busy, I've just been trying to stand on God's promises. Sometimes that can consume all that I have within me. Sounds dramatic, but there it is.
We have been struggling terribly with our finances due to a new thing where the state of California is taking out 550 dollars straight from Chris' paycheck. I am honestly not sure what our next step is, but I see boxes and moving trucks dancing in my head, with nowhere to go. There are many things I am battling, in prayer, and in life, and Chris is planning his next cd. I will probably erase this after I write it so that I don't get in trouble...we'll see how cheeky I feel when I am done with this post...;)
Everybody here in Bend seems to somehow be pulling away from me, without even trying. I have few connections left here. God has made no promise of leading us to California like I would like, or anything specific, but we were prayed over on our last trip there, as a couple, by an amazing woman of prophetic giftings. It was said that He would lead us out of here, but we would not leave in haste. And so my dilemma. My constant dilemma when God speaks a promise, is to run ahead and try to discover the rest. God is trying to teach Chris and I to trust Him, to have joy in all circumstances (in sickness and health, in richness or poorness) and to wait on Him faithfully, patiently. Well....I am not patient. I am frustrated. Truth be told, when Chris said he was going to start recording on his 2nd cd in the end of August, I envisioned myself packing up the entire house, getting a storage unit, letting him stay with a friend, and taking the kids to my Mom's so that we can save money and have some sort of hope for the future. Everything is unsure! I am trying not to be stressed and worried, because truly, He is taking care of our daily bread, but we owe bills!! Many!! and rent! I will not lose heart...I will keep on, because I am human and I have strength funneling into my weak, pathetic spirit from a mighty, holy, awesome God who is rich beyond measure. "I would have lost heart, if I did not believe that I would see the goodness of the Lord, in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13.
I will wait. I will trust. I will yield to Him to chisel this patience thing into my heart. My soul will rise to Him and I will sit by still waters meditating on His peace and hope and faithfulness. Even if it's the hardest thing I have to do.
We have been struggling terribly with our finances due to a new thing where the state of California is taking out 550 dollars straight from Chris' paycheck. I am honestly not sure what our next step is, but I see boxes and moving trucks dancing in my head, with nowhere to go. There are many things I am battling, in prayer, and in life, and Chris is planning his next cd. I will probably erase this after I write it so that I don't get in trouble...we'll see how cheeky I feel when I am done with this post...;)
Everybody here in Bend seems to somehow be pulling away from me, without even trying. I have few connections left here. God has made no promise of leading us to California like I would like, or anything specific, but we were prayed over on our last trip there, as a couple, by an amazing woman of prophetic giftings. It was said that He would lead us out of here, but we would not leave in haste. And so my dilemma. My constant dilemma when God speaks a promise, is to run ahead and try to discover the rest. God is trying to teach Chris and I to trust Him, to have joy in all circumstances (in sickness and health, in richness or poorness) and to wait on Him faithfully, patiently. Well....I am not patient. I am frustrated. Truth be told, when Chris said he was going to start recording on his 2nd cd in the end of August, I envisioned myself packing up the entire house, getting a storage unit, letting him stay with a friend, and taking the kids to my Mom's so that we can save money and have some sort of hope for the future. Everything is unsure! I am trying not to be stressed and worried, because truly, He is taking care of our daily bread, but we owe bills!! Many!! and rent! I will not lose heart...I will keep on, because I am human and I have strength funneling into my weak, pathetic spirit from a mighty, holy, awesome God who is rich beyond measure. "I would have lost heart, if I did not believe that I would see the goodness of the Lord, in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13.
I will wait. I will trust. I will yield to Him to chisel this patience thing into my heart. My soul will rise to Him and I will sit by still waters meditating on His peace and hope and faithfulness. Even if it's the hardest thing I have to do.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Here Comes the Sun
I was thinking about the things I always thought that ideally I would want to be defined by, at least by the end of my life, but hopefully, NOW...and continually in heightening waves of growth. Here they are: To be a joyful person, radiant with a sunshiney outlook and inner optimism that encourages and places hope within all that I come to meet. This radiance would infiltrate my entire persona. I want to be a person who truly gets out there and LIVES life, which means I really need to quit worrying so much about what people may or may not be thinking about me ( because they are most likely NOT thinking about me, haha).
I want to explore, get dirty, travel, and meet and love people truly. I want to stop being so materialistic and simplify all aspects of my life. We can really live very fruitfully with very little, surprisingly.
I want to accumulate experiences rather than THINGS!! I want to make my dreams come true that I have placed on a far up shelf to gather dust.
I want to be healthy and fit and love my body in all of its imperfection...
I want to be loyal to my husband, and romantic, in love, inspiring, the best friend he will ever have, and completely passionate for him until the day I die! I want to be a big kid, and ride bikes and roller skate, and have fun with my children and not take life so seriously!
I want to leave a trail of dust behind me when I die that tells the world that I was here, and I LIVED life. I want to be happy!
I can only fulfill all of this by placing Jesus first, and this I will do whole-heartedly. He's the best thing I could ever have in my life, and the wellspring of goodness.
Choose life TODAY. I am.
I want to explore, get dirty, travel, and meet and love people truly. I want to stop being so materialistic and simplify all aspects of my life. We can really live very fruitfully with very little, surprisingly.
I want to accumulate experiences rather than THINGS!! I want to make my dreams come true that I have placed on a far up shelf to gather dust.
I want to be healthy and fit and love my body in all of its imperfection...
I want to be loyal to my husband, and romantic, in love, inspiring, the best friend he will ever have, and completely passionate for him until the day I die! I want to be a big kid, and ride bikes and roller skate, and have fun with my children and not take life so seriously!
I want to leave a trail of dust behind me when I die that tells the world that I was here, and I LIVED life. I want to be happy!
I can only fulfill all of this by placing Jesus first, and this I will do whole-heartedly. He's the best thing I could ever have in my life, and the wellspring of goodness.
Choose life TODAY. I am.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Day Trip
The other day we decided we were in dire need of a small adventure, so we headed out the door with a big picnic lunch full of snacks, gassed our car up, and went for it. Where we ended up, we didn't really care, we just wanted to find a place that was green and warm, and maybe had fields of flowers to gaze at. We drove through Sisters, Oregon, and beyond the McKenzie Pass headed towards Sweet Home and Salem. It was a long time before we reached beauty (green forests, mossy trees, trickling water falls off the road, and lovely streams and lakes. We finally came to a stop in a small town called Sweet Home, which we found almost 70 degrees (20 degrees warmer almost than Bend was upon departing), and quite charming despite it's decline structurally. You can see everywhere in the US the recession's fingerprints, unfortunately. So many beautiful properties are for sale, and not being cared for or repaired.
We went to this lovely park which had an ancient covered bridge on its property. I am pretty obsessed with covered bridges, and my husband appeases me by stopping at them to take pictures:) He's so sweet to me! Anyhow, it was such a fun little adventure, I just love going place with my family. My husband is the best traveling companion!
The End:)
We went to this lovely park which had an ancient covered bridge on its property. I am pretty obsessed with covered bridges, and my husband appeases me by stopping at them to take pictures:) He's so sweet to me! Anyhow, it was such a fun little adventure, I just love going place with my family. My husband is the best traveling companion!
The End:)
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