True Contentment.

Today is Saturday and Chris is working. I have Harmony and Jude, and Eli is with Grandpa. Outside the trees are painted white with snow, and the ground is a sheet of white glaze as well. Though I am not fond of the cold, it is extremely beautiful.
There are no plans until tonight, when we are going to dinner at the Dickinson's house. It's been a long time since our families connected, so I am excited about that time together. I am snuggled in the softest red blanket with hearts all over it, just finished my coffee, my mind is sharp-edged with the caffeine and the freshness of morning.
My husband brought me pink roses last night, and they looked so sweet and beautiful in the bag, and then we took them out to place them in a vase, and they fell all over the place, wilted and past their prime. Chris was really disappointed, he felt like he threw away $13. I said we could take them back....
Isn't it so often in real life that people or things look like they are perfect in their little package of appeal and perfectness, and then we get a closer look only to find it was an illusion and simply a disappointment? "The grass is always greener" quote is so accurate. We must make the most of our lives where we are now. I was so unhappy for so long, thinking that this place was so dissatisfying and that I needed to move back to California, or someplace else. But the problem was not where we live, it was in ME. I was discontent because I had allowed myself to become stale and joyless. I had my husband so convinced of my unhappiness and depression, that he knocked on many doors to get us out of here so I could "be happy" again. Every door remained shut, but God spoke to me, saying,"Bloom here. I have you HERE. Make the very most of it."

It is so important to remain fruitful and to be thankful for what we have. I have been so ungrateful for what I have. God has blessed me abundantly with: My beautiful husband who has such an amazing heart, who listens to me and loves me, who tends to me carefully like a gardener in their realm of flowers. He is a jewel, and I couldn't have asked for a more precious gift and friend to remain by my side during my stay here on earth.
My children! Each one is such a delight in their own individual, adorable way. Eli is so intuitive, he knows me so well! He is affectionate and kind, and smart, and we have the best conversations. Harmony is sweet and feminine and a peacemaker by nature. She is sensitive and doting, and understands people on a deeper level than most adults. Jude, my little Judebug, is such a ball of curiosity and joy. He adores his sister and brother, loves to play, explore, run, chatter and crawl into mine and Chris' laps and cuddle. They each make me smile so much, and laugh! I am so blessed beyond belief to have three such healthy, exuberant babies!
I am thankful for my home, my bed, my kitchen where I can cook meals for my family and friends, and our living room where we hold our prayer group. There are SO MANY things to list when you get into this frame of mind, it is hard to hold back. It would take all day to say all of the things I am so grateful for. And it would take up way too much room. But, I know that the number one "thing" I am thankful for, and which is the reason that all of these other things have been ushered into my life to make me so prosperous, and it is Jesus.
When I think about my life before I chose to give Him my heart, I feel the void and deep chasm that was my soul. I was in pain, and hungry for something I couldn't put a name to. I just knew the things I was choosing to fill the gap in my heart with were just serving to make me emptier and more dead. Drugs, sex, friendships with people in the world, busyness, alcohol, astrology, all of the things I made my religion before Christ, were like gateways to more pain and loss. It was a downward stairway that I was descending rapidly and blindly, thinking it brought me release when it only birthed self-destruction and misery.
Today, I am thankful. To know true joy and peace. To be flooded with a light that can never be put out or die. I am thankful for a hunger and thirst that has been quenched with a feast that won't decay nor become gall in my belly. I am at ease. "He brought me to His banqueting table, and His banner over me is love." He extends this peace and love to all who ask, to all who simply say it and mean it in their hearts. "Come, lay down thy weary head upon My breast and dine with Me." He says. "Be free. Lay down your burdens so that I can take them up and you can be free." Jesus is the Way, The Truth and the Light. Come today and be refreshed once and for all.

I will praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

The Fruit of Our Lips.

You know what I see a lot of, and it's really a shame, is people who claim to have the gift of prophecy or encouragement, and trade in the power of their mouths and ministries for foul words and talebearer ways to take place.
Prophets and people with the gift of words or encouragement are often hindered with an open mouth to gossip and negativity. It is so disappointing to hear someone who clearly has such a gift for language use their mouth to tear other Christians apart. This grieves the Spirit and crushes people's lives. To put a bad light on a sister or brother simply because you feel the need to say something, is immature and a waste of your ministry, and time.
We should pray that our mouths are a place for good things to spill forth and bless, and lift up. People who have issues with their mouths betraying them with gossip should take a break from preaching, leading worship, or their gift in my opinion, until they can keep their mouths closed when they feel the need to slander. If there's one thing I cannot tolerate, it is gossip and slander. It breaks down the body and fuels sin. It should not be done in the Body of Christ. We should be healing with our words, not wounding.
Isaiah 6:5 says,"Woe to me, I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty." He was seriously grieved by the position he was in because he was in the presence of a Holy God who knew all, and hears all. I am guilty of this, or else I would not be writing this right now.
I pose this question, are we praising the Lord with our tongues, and also cursing men and gossiping? In James it says,"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers (and sisters), this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? Can a fig tree bear olives? Or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." He is so right, and I want pure water to flow from my mouth, only that which will edify and lift up and be comforting and useful to our growth.
It is so easy to be a talebearer. But it is also easy to clamp your mouth shut and say nothing if there is nothing good worth saying.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit." ~Proverbs 18:21

Let's let the fruit of our lips be love, not hate.

Time

News update on the Chabot's, a small break from my monotonous work-out blogs....blah. Chris started his Nursing Assistant class, which is a long, time-consuming and strenuous class 3 days a week. He is doing this in pursuit of his eventual nursing degree, which he should be obtaining within the next two years if everything goes according to schedule.
Last time when Chris took classes, he quit his job temporarily at the dialysis clinic and was a full-time student at COCC, and that consumed pretty much all of his time, while also working at the coffee shop a couple days a week. But this year, he held onto his job as technician at the clinic on top of doing the new music thing he is doing, and the CNA class. He is crazy-busy. I am not sure yet where our family fits into his extreme schedule, but, I am not complaining, he is doing what he needs to do right now, and my fighting against that would merely bring strife where it is unneeded. We formulated this plan to keep our health insurance this year, because the last time was so stressful! We were scared every time the kids got sick, because there was only our out-of- pocket plan:) I told him though, if this becomes too much for you, take a break from work, we will manage. The main directive here is for Chris to get his Nursing license.
It is hard to only have one day with my husband, Sundays, but I keep remembering something my mom told me recently whenever I feel lonely or sad that I don't have the company of my best friend and my love,"Right now you don't have a lot of time together, but just wait, there will be a time soon when you will be together all the time. Absence does make the heart grow fonder." She is right. Soon we may have TOO much time together. This would be my ideal plan: Chris get his Nursing License, gain experience for a year here if necessary, then move. Move to Ireland if that is what God wants, or Northern California. But no more snow:)

Day Quattro of Jillian Michael's Shred.

Day Four, Level Two. One five lb. weight found, so I switched off arms and used it in the squats today. I wasn't sore when I awoke this morning, so I went hard, and it felt great. I ate a healthy breakfast of Special K and coffee, took my vitamin, and at 12:30, I popped the dvd in upstairs and finished it out (unlike yesterday...I kinda finished poorly yesterday...).
I still weigh the same, my stomach still looks bad, so I am functioning purely on hope here. I think I need to kick it up a few notches and actually do a healthy diet plan. Tonight I made a delicious dinner of rice, salad, steelhead baked with limes and olive oil, and invited my dad over for dinner, and he brought CHOCOLATE FUDGE CAKE and bread that was still warm from the oven, and I had a glass of wine...so......yeah, still failing that area of the Shred plan. Maybe I should get in on this Jillian Michael meal plan, whatever that may be. If anyone knows, can you send me a link? That would be helpful.
I am pleasantly surprised to find that I have more than a few friends who are also doing this 30-Day Shred, and it inspires me to continue with it even more so! Thanks ladies!!!!
I hope all of you are doing better than me when it comes to the eating thing. I want to get results by the end of this so that it has not all been pain in vain, so to speak, so yeah...I am totally going to start eating healthier. Does anyone else out there have a difficult time dieting or even eating healthy because of their family? Shouldn't it be the other way around? My kids are SO picky!! Jude survives on bread, peanut butter, bananas and yogurt, God knows how. Harmony eats pretty well, but Eli is really particular about what he eats too. Jude is a vegetarian, but not in a healthy kind of way! Ahh well, works in progress...Sorry but I will not be the type of mom who shoves food down her kids throats with threats, it is not a fun way to grow up. Small steps, right?

Good luck with this, and thanks for bearing with me on the journey to shred!

Day 2 & 3 of "The Shred"

Ouch.
Yesterday I did Level 2, instead of continuing with Level 1-- Big Mistake. I awoke this morning barely able to move. bending over is the worst, with climbing stairs a close second worst. I find myself groaning more than normal at the smallest movements.
But strangely, I am not quitting, because I am determined this time around to actually complete something that I know will be rewarding in the end.
My butt hurts more than anything else, and my legs. I want my abs to burn!!! But they are not. So today, rather than doing all of the squats, I would remain on the ground and do more ab work. Hoping that'll even me out a little.
I am still not eating as well as I'd like, having finished off the 7-layer bars, and eating almost half a bag of Doritos yesterday....but today I only had 2 of my husbands (small) chocolate chip pancakes and 1 mini sausage, and then eggs w/spinach. Hopefully lunch will NOT include chips today, or a sweet treat, although it just might.
This is all for today, short blog, but, tomorrow will be better, I promise!

Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred

Day One!
I am not excited, even though I want to be totally into this. I need a pep-up, like a concoction of something that makes me energized...any ideas? I took my Vitamin-C fizzy drink laced with ginseng, and my multi-vitamin, and went for it (ahem, to be totally honest here, first I ate a 7-layer bar....and eggs, and coffee with cream and sugar, so, not sure if there will be many results...). I did Level 1, and it was a good work out! Not as bad as I thought.
I couldn't find my 5-Lb. hand weights, so I used (shamefully) black beans in cans..hahaha...humorous. In other words, I am not at the top of my game here. I couldn't take my measurements because I can't find our measuring tape, but I am guessing my measurements are this: Jiggly, loose, 10-12+ lbs of extra holiday chub. I know this: I weigh almost 130, and only two pairs of my jeans fit at the moment, so I have been wearing stretch pants under flowy shirts to conceal my extra-love going on. I want this pretty bad!! I want especially to fit back into my regular pants without buttons flying into the toilet when I attempt to button my pants back up in restaurant bathrooms, and for shirts to look decent on me without Spanx sucking my rolls in underneath (too much information, I know, I know).
I will keep all of you amazing fans updated on how this diet workout plan goes, if only to keep me accountable. (Speaking to my two blog-followers...hello!)
Hopefully by tomorrow I can find my weights so I don't have to resort to using canned goods, and maybe I will have started off by NOT indulging in a treat that is made up of pure sugar, butter, and chocolate......to be continued....