This morning began a bit more frazzled than an ordinary day, due to having to take Chris to work because a large rainstorm is expected today! In California we get immensely excited over the notion of rainfall. How we need a good MONTH of rain here to water this land of drought and cause the grass to grow green for all of the poor thirsty woodland creatures devastating people's gardens in placement of their forest food, for the pretty flowers to spring up and color the roadsides, to fill the dried banks and rivers, streams and lakes that are bone dry. So we have been anticipating this storm since Sunday, seeing it on the weather horizon. We prayed for rain at church!
Today we awoke and I immediately peeked out of the blinds in my room to see if there was any progress, a huge downpour or at least storm clouds... hoping it wasn't going to be like an Elijah situation where we truly had to believe in faith that rain was coming. Thankfully, though there was little precipitation, the gray clouds had gathered and blocked out any smidgen of sunlight or blue sky, which loves to remain here in our new home.
So, I have been singing "Open the floodgates of heaven and let it rain!" intermittently today. All I want to do on this day is write, read, pray, maybe have some tea with cream, and storm watch. Bliss.
Some days I feel a tad guilty for my life which most of the time gives me great pleasure. I was thinking on Monday, after I dropped off the children at school and drove to San Luis Obispo to run some errands then on my way back, decided to stop at the beach to gaze from the sand at the waves and feel the sunshine and just relish sweet time, that I am SO thankful for my life which is terribly lacking in agenda currently....but that I am so content in. I started to feel a little guilty, and I talked to God a bit about this, and He said, "Rest. I want you to rest. There will be time to rush about and work, but this season is for soaking. So enjoy it." Ahhhh...well alright then, Abba. I will!!! I will enjoy lavishing in Your radiant presence and reaching out for You, knowing You are near. I will enjoy cleaning my house that never seems to get clean but only a little sparklier, I will enjoy my silence and writing, and planning meals for my sweet family, and thinking kind thoughts about people, loving our neighbors, I will enjoy this golden, glorious, season of autumn and getting a little fatter than any other season because there is BAKING and eating and being happy.
I had been so downcast so much of the time, that I just feel so damn free to smile, and relinquish concerns (big and small) unto the much more able lap of the Lord. To trust. To sit. To know. And not to cry long hours anymore, at least for a while! I now fully see the rainbow, taste the goodness, though my answers to certain extremely important prayers have not come to pass yet, I know they will, and I have embraced the promise in place of the fact before my eyes...not in naivety or blindness, but in obedience, for this is what God has asked of me. Okay. So My heart soars. I am basking.
