I have been remembering my dreams in perfect clarity lately, and it just proves, due to memory, that we do in fact dream in colour. I had a dream last night that I was standing in calf-high water, seemingly the ocean, very clear water, and three snakes came wriggling towards me. Each one was like 3 or 4 crayons had melted together, that was the vivid colour of their slick bodies. I was trying to get away from them because they seemed menacing after a moment. They surrounded me, but somehow I managed to get out of the water. What is it about dreams where it is always a rarity that you can make your legs run? It was like slow motion trying to get out of the water and came across as more of a stroll out of it and away from the impending danger of the snakes.
I wonder what this means?
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Why I'm A Christian
Some people were born into families that were Catholic or Christian, and fanatical about it. Or they were born into a family where the people were Atheist, or Buddhist, or whatever. I was born into a family that believed in God, and to some degree went to church and enforced loose rules of following Jesus. But then both my dad and mom went their own ways for awhile, so I was left to make my own decisions regarding faith.
I believed in a Higher Power, and believed always that some ONE had to have created our complex earth and all that thrived, good or bad, upon it. It's just that my view of WHO it was varied over the years of searching.
When I was little, I just believed that I was being watched over. When I was a teenager, I got into drugs, and I KNEW I was being watched. I felt the eyes even, or especially, when I was high on acid or some horrible hallucinogen that I thought I'd never come down from. They were not eyes of judgment, but they did not approve of what I was doing to myself. They were not eyes of anger, but they had a better plan for my body than the destruction I was reigning on my self. I recall looking in the mirror many times, high on something, hardly there on earth, and seeing this face, desperate for something to ground me, to shoot an arrow through the kite I was flying on in the winds of what I called adventure but now know to be a downward torrent of pain and self-destruction. I know that it was this lifestyle that brought me to my knees quicker than could have been the case. For me, drugs opened up my spiritual eyes to see the great evil that ruled that world. Many times I saw the darkness as if it were the reality, and I knew God was beckoning me to the light.
I am not a Christian because that is what I flocked to first. I am because I searched out all other pathways and asked God to show me His ultimate way. I was at one point avidly into astrology, and followed it as if it was a bible of guidance for my entire life. Pathetic, I know.
I was also very intrigued by witchcraft. I tinkered with Buddhism. I thought I could get away with "spirituality", in other words, just believing half-truths about Jesus being a good man, and being a good person who lived a life full of good deeds...lots of "good" in an otherwise jaded, rusting world. The only reason I am a Christian, to begin with, is that when I'd lay in my bed at night and assess my lifepath, I'd feel this rushing sense of un-peace. Like I wasn't quite there. I was close, but He had a better way. It turns out it is a better way, even though it is a narrow path. He led me into the fullness of His truth, and it was all the words of the Bible. The Jesus of the Bible. The One who said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." In John 14.
I am a Christian because it is the only way my soul found peace, true, unfettered, restful peace that flowed into my soul like liquid gold in the form of endless love, endless grace, mercy, and an empowerment I never thought I would have.
I believed in a Higher Power, and believed always that some ONE had to have created our complex earth and all that thrived, good or bad, upon it. It's just that my view of WHO it was varied over the years of searching.
When I was little, I just believed that I was being watched over. When I was a teenager, I got into drugs, and I KNEW I was being watched. I felt the eyes even, or especially, when I was high on acid or some horrible hallucinogen that I thought I'd never come down from. They were not eyes of judgment, but they did not approve of what I was doing to myself. They were not eyes of anger, but they had a better plan for my body than the destruction I was reigning on my self. I recall looking in the mirror many times, high on something, hardly there on earth, and seeing this face, desperate for something to ground me, to shoot an arrow through the kite I was flying on in the winds of what I called adventure but now know to be a downward torrent of pain and self-destruction. I know that it was this lifestyle that brought me to my knees quicker than could have been the case. For me, drugs opened up my spiritual eyes to see the great evil that ruled that world. Many times I saw the darkness as if it were the reality, and I knew God was beckoning me to the light.
I am not a Christian because that is what I flocked to first. I am because I searched out all other pathways and asked God to show me His ultimate way. I was at one point avidly into astrology, and followed it as if it was a bible of guidance for my entire life. Pathetic, I know.
I was also very intrigued by witchcraft. I tinkered with Buddhism. I thought I could get away with "spirituality", in other words, just believing half-truths about Jesus being a good man, and being a good person who lived a life full of good deeds...lots of "good" in an otherwise jaded, rusting world. The only reason I am a Christian, to begin with, is that when I'd lay in my bed at night and assess my lifepath, I'd feel this rushing sense of un-peace. Like I wasn't quite there. I was close, but He had a better way. It turns out it is a better way, even though it is a narrow path. He led me into the fullness of His truth, and it was all the words of the Bible. The Jesus of the Bible. The One who said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." In John 14.
I am a Christian because it is the only way my soul found peace, true, unfettered, restful peace that flowed into my soul like liquid gold in the form of endless love, endless grace, mercy, and an empowerment I never thought I would have.
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