It's been awhile since I posted a blog, so here goes. It's not necessarily that I have been busy, I've just been trying to stand on God's promises. Sometimes that can consume all that I have within me. Sounds dramatic, but there it is.
We have been struggling terribly with our finances due to a new thing where the state of California is taking out 550 dollars straight from Chris' paycheck. I am honestly not sure what our next step is, but I see boxes and moving trucks dancing in my head, with nowhere to go. There are many things I am battling, in prayer, and in life, and Chris is planning his next cd. I will probably erase this after I write it so that I don't get in trouble...we'll see how cheeky I feel when I am done with this post...;)
Everybody here in Bend seems to somehow be pulling away from me, without even trying. I have few connections left here. God has made no promise of leading us to California like I would like, or anything specific, but we were prayed over on our last trip there, as a couple, by an amazing woman of prophetic giftings. It was said that He would lead us out of here, but we would not leave in haste. And so my dilemma. My constant dilemma when God speaks a promise, is to run ahead and try to discover the rest. God is trying to teach Chris and I to trust Him, to have joy in all circumstances (in sickness and health, in richness or poorness) and to wait on Him faithfully, patiently. Well....I am not patient. I am frustrated. Truth be told, when Chris said he was going to start recording on his 2nd cd in the end of August, I envisioned myself packing up the entire house, getting a storage unit, letting him stay with a friend, and taking the kids to my Mom's so that we can save money and have some sort of hope for the future. Everything is unsure! I am trying not to be stressed and worried, because truly, He is taking care of our daily bread, but we owe bills!! Many!! and rent! I will not lose heart...I will keep on, because I am human and I have strength funneling into my weak, pathetic spirit from a mighty, holy, awesome God who is rich beyond measure. "I would have lost heart, if I did not believe that I would see the goodness of the Lord, in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13.
I will wait. I will trust. I will yield to Him to chisel this patience thing into my heart. My soul will rise to Him and I will sit by still waters meditating on His peace and hope and faithfulness. Even if it's the hardest thing I have to do.
