Monday, August 30, 2010
Selah: To pause, reflect, and consider.
Today is a day I have given to be sanctified to Jesus, to acknowledge Him in being my all in all, my truest love and friend, and the most beautiful of any person ever come to earth, and ascended on high. I knew I had to give a day to him (though He is worthy of all time in my life) to express my gratitude and hunger for Him and His pure love above all other things which fill us up. Only He can fill us until we no longer are in need of any other sustenance. Only He can enlighten our minds to truth. Only He can direct my steps by illuminating my way with His words and guidance. So, I look to Him today and give Him my whole heart, and all of my time.
This, I acknowledge, is difficult for our flesh. My immediate desire upon awakening is to go directly to the kettle, warm up water and start my coffee routine. Then I figure out a breakfast meal to consume, for me and the children. After ALL of this, perhaps I either go to spend time with the Lord or I get on the computer to spend my time wastefully looking at my friend's lives and writing e-mails, or facebook spying, etc. I do all of these things without hardly thinking of the WHY. I just do, mindlessly it seems.
I am hungry. I am mostly hungry in my spirit for something that is lasting and fulfilling though. This does not come in the form of food that we place in our mouths (though one of my most favorite things to partake of, I admit, is eating scrumptious tidbits and delectable feasts of this and that). We hunger down deep within us. In a place only we, and more so, the Holy Spirit, can identify. I want Him to overflow in that place of want. He is my provision.
This all sounds strange and foreign and perhaps even vulgar to the mind that resides on flesh only. But to those of us who see there is more than what our eyes merely fall on in front of us, in this world, it makes sense, because we are searching with the eyes of our hearts.
I give You this day, Father, because You are worthy of my all. You alone can fill me the way I need to be filled, and pray for more of You: More enlightenment to spiritual things, More Holy Spirit to dwell within me, More cognizance to what lies beyond the confines and tethers of this earth, and most of all, More Love. I want to be teachable, and I see so much judgments and opposition and cynicism within me that comes out when I least expect, break me with Your love.
I choose to pause today and give you thanks. I've heard it said that pools of refreshment will stand in the footprints of those who wait on His next operating instructions, and I do this, I choose to wait on Him, His peace, His open doors, rather than trying to make my own way and coming up against unnecessary walls. His way is perfect and exact, and always love. Jesus.
This, I acknowledge, is difficult for our flesh. My immediate desire upon awakening is to go directly to the kettle, warm up water and start my coffee routine. Then I figure out a breakfast meal to consume, for me and the children. After ALL of this, perhaps I either go to spend time with the Lord or I get on the computer to spend my time wastefully looking at my friend's lives and writing e-mails, or facebook spying, etc. I do all of these things without hardly thinking of the WHY. I just do, mindlessly it seems.
I am hungry. I am mostly hungry in my spirit for something that is lasting and fulfilling though. This does not come in the form of food that we place in our mouths (though one of my most favorite things to partake of, I admit, is eating scrumptious tidbits and delectable feasts of this and that). We hunger down deep within us. In a place only we, and more so, the Holy Spirit, can identify. I want Him to overflow in that place of want. He is my provision.
This all sounds strange and foreign and perhaps even vulgar to the mind that resides on flesh only. But to those of us who see there is more than what our eyes merely fall on in front of us, in this world, it makes sense, because we are searching with the eyes of our hearts.
I give You this day, Father, because You are worthy of my all. You alone can fill me the way I need to be filled, and pray for more of You: More enlightenment to spiritual things, More Holy Spirit to dwell within me, More cognizance to what lies beyond the confines and tethers of this earth, and most of all, More Love. I want to be teachable, and I see so much judgments and opposition and cynicism within me that comes out when I least expect, break me with Your love.
I choose to pause today and give you thanks. I've heard it said that pools of refreshment will stand in the footprints of those who wait on His next operating instructions, and I do this, I choose to wait on Him, His peace, His open doors, rather than trying to make my own way and coming up against unnecessary walls. His way is perfect and exact, and always love. Jesus.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I love to read.
Reading is one of my all-time favorite pastimes, and always has been. I like reading light, casual books, or heavy, intense reads that grip my stomach in a vice-hold and I have to keep reminding myself to breathe. Isn't it amazing that mere words on a page have the ability to do this to us?
Right now I am simultaneously reading four different books: Radical by David Platt, a book about taking your faith back from the American Dream, which has been on my heart a lot lately (simplifying!!), A Perfect Day by Richard Paul Evans, which is a fictional book that caught my fancy, You Were Made For More by Jim Cymbala, a book about finding your specific gifts and purpose in the Lord, and I can't remember the last one off the top of my head.
I choose books that I want to immerse myself in pretty carefully because I find that it is like being transported to another world, almost like a dream except that you live in someone else's words. If it is a really good book, for instance, I can pretend I am walking through the scenery being painted for me by the author. My mind becomes transfixed in the what who and why and it is like a small adventure. If it is a bad book, one that makes me feel negatively, I find it can also consume me in a wrong way, so this is why I say I am careful about what I read, just as I am particular about the movies I watch, because I don't want a bunch of garbage floating around in my brain that I don't need. I already have a battle waging war inside my mind, in thoughts that attempt to discourage or depress me, I don't want to feed this knowingly into me with a crappy book.
That said, I have been filling my mind with a lot of passionate topics lately, that impassioned me as well, and cause me to become edified and built up towards those things which inspire me to be better, and to shun the things that tear me down. These especially include as of late, the mysteries and gifts of the Holy Spirit.
I hope you all have been having an adventure in reading lately, I'd love to hear about what you are reading, and how it has affected you for the better, or worse:)
Bye!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Marriage
I just recently found out about a pastor that we used to have in California who has ended up in a horrible divorce with his wife of many years, and a messy custody battle over his children. It was strange, I was just sitting on my couch at a late hour (which around this house, is the only time I can hear God's voice because it's actually quiet) when I thought of him. I had not thought of this guy in many years, that his face came out of the blue. I couldn't even remember his name at first, just that he had been very kind and patient to me, counseled me when I was hooked on drugs and in the midst of all of my teenage angst. I remember sitting in his office across the desk from him, and going over scripture with him. I was a very confused girl at that point, and he would redirect my aimless rants to solid truth. Gently. I will not forget that.
We all have our struggles, and I have no doubt that both parties are to blame, but it just brings to mind the fact that marriages are crumbling left and right. If people within the church cannot retain a unified covenant, how can the world be expected to either? When we say our vows, one of the most important things spoken is this: What God has put together, let no man put asunder. In other words, no one, even yourself, should tear apart what God has put together. Of course, I am not dogmatic, and believe that sometimes, there are exceptions, and usually it is because God wasn't the one who put the two together, it was their own doing, and that is why it fell apart, because He had no part in in from the beginning. But a marriage that was two people, seeking God, and led to make that lifelong commitment, then just throwing in the towel, that is a tragedy indeed in my mind.
In this world we are living in where people lie daily to each other and cheat and seek their own happiness above anything else, it is nearly impossible to make anything last. This is why I am so filled with a quickening to place my desires and daydreams under the light of God's truth. Is it really necessary for me to have all the things I want or think I need all the time? Or will it be more beneficial and glorifying to battle out the things that are so vital. My marriage is the number one most important thing to me beside my relationship with Christ. My husband has faults, as do I, but I know that if I went searching for someone with less faults I would be wildly disillusioned, exchanging something highly valuable for a pipe-dream. With relationships, you are going to have messes. It is a basic fact of the matter. Our relationship with the Lord is one of the most perfect examples, and I even fall short daily in THAT one, so I should expect to find challenges and discrepancies in my everyday family relationships. Does this mean we give up and run away? No. I heard it said once, before I got married to Chris, that if you picture a married couple like 2 horses in a corral, who, when in an argument of some sort, each can run to the opposite sides of the corral but cannot leap over the fence, and must eventually come into the middle again to resolve their differences. It is a good mental picture for me, because I never really learned from anyone how to communicate through differences, if someone didn't see eye to eye with me, the conversation was over, we'd agree to disagree, but to try and work something out, some common ground, would be too much work and so I would run away. When I married Chris, however, I said to myself, I will not do this lightly. I will remain single if I want things to be simpler. In 1 Corinthians 7:34 it says,"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world- how she can please her husband." and I knew, I would not allow anything less than His perfect best to take my attention away from Him. When Chris came along, I was not looking for that from him at all, it just fell into place, and I knew with all of my being that he was the one worth fighting for. It saddens me that it has to be such a battle sometimes to hold something together that was meant for a blessing...we make petty things into so much more than they need to be, rather than "Covering over a multitude of sins in love" as 1Peter 4:8 & Proverbs 10:12 charges us to do. One of my favorite verses is also from Corinthians, and it says not to take account of offenses. I tend to do this, and it is one of the things I seek to free myself from. If Chris took account of my offenses rather than letting them go, I'd be a guilty woman in his sight.
I love this verse, it has been on my heart a lot lately,"How good and pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity! It is like precious (fragrant) oil poured on the head, running down the beard.." Psalm 133:1-2 The whole Psalm is worth reading, it is one of the shortest and most important Psalms, it is as if that was all that needed to be said in it. How important for us to be united!! "For there the Lord bestows His blessing, even life forevermore." Oil in scripture always represents the holy spirit, a sort of inner vulnerability, a holiness and beauty in my mind, like the woman who broke her expensive alabaster vial to spill out the perfume upon Jesus' feet, it needed to be broken to spill out it's worth, just like our hardened hearts need to be broken to emit the fragrance of love. Unity is one of the most powerful and glorious tools we have in relationships and in congregation, yet there is so precious little of it. Let us begin by keeping our marriages together and our hearts soft towards each other. Then perhaps the church will truly display the image of a Beloved wife and her Husband, Jesus, dwelling together in perfect unity, rather than quarreling over ridiculous and petty things such as whether to have the music before or after, with lights on or off in church, and silly things! Let us be inclined to put one another above ourselves and not live enslaved to selfishness and self-seeking. Marriage on earth is supposed to be the example for what the Church looks like, minds in one accord walking toward a common goal. Why do we make it so complicated?
We all have our struggles, and I have no doubt that both parties are to blame, but it just brings to mind the fact that marriages are crumbling left and right. If people within the church cannot retain a unified covenant, how can the world be expected to either? When we say our vows, one of the most important things spoken is this: What God has put together, let no man put asunder. In other words, no one, even yourself, should tear apart what God has put together. Of course, I am not dogmatic, and believe that sometimes, there are exceptions, and usually it is because God wasn't the one who put the two together, it was their own doing, and that is why it fell apart, because He had no part in in from the beginning. But a marriage that was two people, seeking God, and led to make that lifelong commitment, then just throwing in the towel, that is a tragedy indeed in my mind.
In this world we are living in where people lie daily to each other and cheat and seek their own happiness above anything else, it is nearly impossible to make anything last. This is why I am so filled with a quickening to place my desires and daydreams under the light of God's truth. Is it really necessary for me to have all the things I want or think I need all the time? Or will it be more beneficial and glorifying to battle out the things that are so vital. My marriage is the number one most important thing to me beside my relationship with Christ. My husband has faults, as do I, but I know that if I went searching for someone with less faults I would be wildly disillusioned, exchanging something highly valuable for a pipe-dream. With relationships, you are going to have messes. It is a basic fact of the matter. Our relationship with the Lord is one of the most perfect examples, and I even fall short daily in THAT one, so I should expect to find challenges and discrepancies in my everyday family relationships. Does this mean we give up and run away? No. I heard it said once, before I got married to Chris, that if you picture a married couple like 2 horses in a corral, who, when in an argument of some sort, each can run to the opposite sides of the corral but cannot leap over the fence, and must eventually come into the middle again to resolve their differences. It is a good mental picture for me, because I never really learned from anyone how to communicate through differences, if someone didn't see eye to eye with me, the conversation was over, we'd agree to disagree, but to try and work something out, some common ground, would be too much work and so I would run away. When I married Chris, however, I said to myself, I will not do this lightly. I will remain single if I want things to be simpler. In 1 Corinthians 7:34 it says,"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world- how she can please her husband." and I knew, I would not allow anything less than His perfect best to take my attention away from Him. When Chris came along, I was not looking for that from him at all, it just fell into place, and I knew with all of my being that he was the one worth fighting for. It saddens me that it has to be such a battle sometimes to hold something together that was meant for a blessing...we make petty things into so much more than they need to be, rather than "Covering over a multitude of sins in love" as 1Peter 4:8 & Proverbs 10:12 charges us to do. One of my favorite verses is also from Corinthians, and it says not to take account of offenses. I tend to do this, and it is one of the things I seek to free myself from. If Chris took account of my offenses rather than letting them go, I'd be a guilty woman in his sight.
I love this verse, it has been on my heart a lot lately,"How good and pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity! It is like precious (fragrant) oil poured on the head, running down the beard.." Psalm 133:1-2 The whole Psalm is worth reading, it is one of the shortest and most important Psalms, it is as if that was all that needed to be said in it. How important for us to be united!! "For there the Lord bestows His blessing, even life forevermore." Oil in scripture always represents the holy spirit, a sort of inner vulnerability, a holiness and beauty in my mind, like the woman who broke her expensive alabaster vial to spill out the perfume upon Jesus' feet, it needed to be broken to spill out it's worth, just like our hardened hearts need to be broken to emit the fragrance of love. Unity is one of the most powerful and glorious tools we have in relationships and in congregation, yet there is so precious little of it. Let us begin by keeping our marriages together and our hearts soft towards each other. Then perhaps the church will truly display the image of a Beloved wife and her Husband, Jesus, dwelling together in perfect unity, rather than quarreling over ridiculous and petty things such as whether to have the music before or after, with lights on or off in church, and silly things! Let us be inclined to put one another above ourselves and not live enslaved to selfishness and self-seeking. Marriage on earth is supposed to be the example for what the Church looks like, minds in one accord walking toward a common goal. Why do we make it so complicated?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)